MY SANCTUARY

Forgive and forget

2011-05-08T22:16:00.000+08:00

To truly forgive, we must be ready to forget. I don't mean to forget completely whatever was done to you. But let us look at it in a deeper manner today...

Harbouring feelings of not wanting to give forgiveness has an emotional and physiological affect on ourselves. Blood pressure surges... Heart rate increases... Your brow muscles tense... And you will have much negative feelings. To cultivate forgiveness may reduce all this. You are likely to enjoy a more positive-self emotionally. You'll reduce the bitterness and resentment that comes with the failure to forgive.

Of course, forgiveness, like love, cannot be forced. It comes with our own attitude towards everything in life. When we have better stress management, we are more likely to forgive. Also, having the feelings of gratitude for the better things we have in life would put our focus on the positive things that have happened, rather than being victims of grievance.

It is almost impossible to forget what has caused you pain or hurt your feelings. To forgive and forget, does not mean literally erasing that memory forever. To forgive and forget is to remember graciously. We remember what happened, the pain it caused and what the truth was. But we do so without the feelings of contempt, anger and hatred for the person or people we have forgiven.

We can choose to let go of the angry thoughts about the person or people that has wronged us. That is deciding to forgive but we may still harbour negative feelings. To truly forgive and forget, is to replace any negative emotions with positive ones; when anger, hate and resentment are replaced with love, compassion and empathy.

That, in my belief, is the true meaning of forgive and forget.

From the Beginning to the End.

2011-03-16T14:21:00.002+08:00

In this soil, plant a seed

Watch it grow on how you keep

Let it not die by your deed

For what you sow, you will reap.

-Sabine Ong-

Everything starts somewhere from something. And the end is a result of whatever we have done from the very beginning until the finish. That is why I really believe in the saying that "You will reap what you sow". I truly believe that every action of ours causes a perpetual chain of events, no matter how small and insignificant or how big which will eventually lead us to certain situations and conclusions in chapters of our lives. And that is why, we need to learn from every right and wrong we have made before and bring this lesson with us so that we will not repeat mistakes in the future. Even a simple everyday-task can teach us plenty.

There is always a lesson to learn in everything we do.

Climb

2010-10-31T21:52:00.001+08:00

I have been hillwalking weekly for the past few months now. It is good exercise. But the one thing I never did was to hike all the way to the top of the hill. I can see the hill/mountain from my home. From there, it looked intimidating and extremely tall. Covered in lush green plants and trees, the only thing that is different are the communication towers that sat at the very top. Today, I decided that I should try and get to the very top.

The weather was cool today. It wasn't hot at all, the sun was blocked by all those clouds. Rain was coming, but I didn't care. At the place, you could either use the tar road, or the jungle trail. I always used the jungle trail to go up. It is not as boring and makes the journey to the top more interesting. It is also the route less taken. I started off as always, on a levelled path that served as a warm up for us hikers. Eventually we'll reach the slopes and have to climb our way up. Today I had an extra friend with me too, I had a sturdy and strong branch that served as my walking stick. It helps to have it when you got nothing to grab onto while trying to go up!

Usually the lush trees would shield us from the sun's ravaging heat, but today, it made the path looked dimmer than usual. Actually, my mum and some of her friends also hike. We would go together and the one and only man in the group would continue up leaving behind the ladies (or women) who constantly stopped to rest. I decided not to wait for them any longer today, and just followed Uncle Ram up. The first part of the trail is rather easy being that you climb up a little and reach a levelled part before another climb. This time, I climbed faster with less stops than usual, so I was pretty tired when I reach the first station. The familiar sight of the bamboo chairs were a relief for my fast-pumping heart and lungs. Usually Uncle Ram would continue his way up alone while we took the path that would lead us to the road. But like I said earlier, today I was going to the peak. With just a short break, we set out again.

The second part of the journey up, is the hardest and steepest. You practically climbed up and up and up all the way to the second station. There were barely any levelled part of the trail and this was exhausting. My left leg was already starting to feel some strain, but it didn't matter. I just dismissed it and continued on. Having slowed down my pace a little, I had more time to observe the surroundings. The trail looks like it was not taken as many times as the first part. It had more tree roots in the way, but they also served as steps pretty well. There were also some branches that seem to block your way, but you can actually use it to hoist yourself up! Along the way, I noticed big ants that are about 2cm long from head to back, once in awhile. They seem to be lost but I couldn't do anything to help. I didn't know how. So I just continued climbing, with several short breaks. Eventually I reach the second station. Finally! I passed the hardest test. And I definitely deserved to catch my breath. Here, there are several red chairs and I immediately sat on one and let those legs rest a little. As I rested, several more hikers passed us. They are older but they barely look tired and didn't even stop for a rest. I feel weak. But this is what training is for! Anyway, they took the path that leads you back to the road but that wasn't the one I was going to take. I was going to go further up.

After the break, we continued our way upwards. The third and final part of the climb started out as steep as the second part. My leg muscles were burning already. Good muscle burn. It was tempting to stop and just sit. But no, that isn't going to happen. I pushed my screaming legs and up I went. Eventually the slope became less steep and the path started to become filled with dried leaves. Signs of less people going through here. But every time I looked up to see how further it is, all I could see were more dirt and trees. It didn't help because I started thinking "I cannot climb any longer". But positive thinking did the trick when I keep telling myself "I CAN, I MUST, I WILL!" I just kept going further up. Then, on impulse, I looked up again. This time, I saw the sky and not more dirt and trees. "I'm almost there!" I thought. Few more steps and I..... No, I haven't reached the peak. But just as I was about to feel a little disappointed, I noticed that the place started to become misty. It was sort of enchanting and mysterious. 10 metres and more, things started to blur a little. The mist was pretty thick but that was pretty awesome. I had to continue upwards!

Here the path was filled with lots and lots of fallen dried leaves. It made it harder to climb, because stepping on a leave meant that you could slip. But of course, you can climb safely by just avoiding them. The last part of the climb was more like a walk. It wasn't very steep at all and with the coolness and that surprisingly strong wind that reached through the trees from the east to the west made it rather relaxing. Then it started drizzling. I continued making my way up, taking in all that surrounded me and letting go of some thoughts. It was very stress-relieving. As I made my way up higher, the mist thickened. Now I could barely see anything that was more than 10 metres away. The mist got way thicker and this was rather unnerving at first. But the drizzle had a calming effect. The sounds of water hitting the leaves of the trees and the earth. The wind blowing in your face. Within 5 minutes since I first saw the sky on my way up, I reached the peak. The communication towers that stood atop the hill were shrouded in mist. You could only see about 5 metres up and then everything else was white. Finally, I took a breath and made my way down the road, knowing that I'll come again on the next Sunday.

What I learned today, was that, if you keep waiting for those who lagged behind, you'd never reach the top. Sometimes, we have to take the step that most people won't dare to and we just might accomplish what we never knew we could. One more thing I realised was how the branches in the way seems to teach a lesson as well. I'm sure that people always say obstacles are there for sure. But I never thought of connecting it to the branches that blocked me. They definitely stopped you in your tracks, but they are also lessons that can help you continue your climb.

Less is more.

2010-09-24T17:25:00.000+08:00

Today my father mentioned something that struck a thought in my mind. He said that if you are forgetful, then don't try to multi-task too much. That got me thinking. Why do people multi-task? Is it really a skill? Or because there is not enough time? Or that we feel we can do more this way? Well yes, I listen to music while I study. But that is hardly multi-tasking. The kind of multi-tasking I mean here is where we are doing a few things that all need almost full attention while doing them. This way, your attention is divided among them. Good or bad?

We should always focus on the task at hand, people say. But really, is that what we are doing? We try to do so many things that we lose focus and concentration. And at the end, the results are not as we hoped for. Well, what do you expect? If we do not focus then how do we expect to get amazing results? This is where, time management comes in. If we can divide our time efficiently, then I believe that we can do more in less time. When you concentrate, you just might finish faster, with better results. Doesn't matter what it is that you are doing. What matters is how you do it.

So, have you been feeling unsatisfied with anything that you have done? Why not give it your full attention and dedication for say...10 minutes? I know, as humans we are easily distracted. But that's because we lose ourselves to our thoughts too much. We think about so many things at the same time while doing other things.

I am not saying that it is wrong to multi-task. In fact, I do think that it is a skill. But the skill must still be used at the appropriate time and situation. Well, paying attention in class is half the battle won.

Less is more, in this case. =]

A little cleaning up!

2010-09-10T11:26:00.002+08:00

Hey guys and girls!

Now, you may be wondering where did all my other posts went to. Well, here's a breakdown of what happened. I see my own writings mature through my two years of blogging. From everything about me, myself and I to some things that can be related to more people. I see how my writings changed from very personal to a wider target audience. Guess it is because of the course I am taking! Diploma in Mass Communication. You may have been wondering why I never blog about food or places to travel and such. It is not because I cannot afford to or that I dislike food and travelling. I'm the kind of person that prefers to blog about things that are closer to my heart. But here, I guess I'd like to write about things that may help others to see. See some things that may be from a different perspective. So yes, that calls for a facelift! I will probably be changing the look of the blog soon.

Anyway, the point of me telling you this is that I have made another blog and shifted all my more personal writings to that blog. This blog will be for writings like what else remains. So the new blog is here. It is still in progress of an uplift and such. =]

Reason being, I may want to use this as a portfolio in the future. So please do leave comments about the posts! I welcome critical ones too, and if you feel my writing lacks in some way, maybe you could point it out so that I can improve. I still have a lot to learn after all!

Reading back all those old posts, I learned something as well. I learned how a person's mindset can change within a frame of time. How much one can mature and grow in mind and spirit. We change. Like in what I wrote in "The 3 Rs" (a few posts back), one realises, re-adapts, and reconciles with themselves. New experiences and new environments are the opportunities for us to learn and grow. We may be afraid to face the unknown, but what is life if we don't challenge ourselves and battle through? After all, life is not a bed of roses.

Home.

2010-08-22T21:57:00.001+08:00

Being kids/teens/young adults who are still stuck at home, I think most of us cannot wait to go out and handle the world on your own! Independence means having the power to do your things your way when you want and how you want. As a student myself, I could not wait to go out and live on my own. Even if it was just to rent a room or something and live out of home. Well, you have to admit that it is nice to be able to do anything you want without your parents watching and all that. You cannot wait to have all 3 meals with your friends. You would love to go out all the time without your mum telling to stay at home. You would love to spend your money without your parents telling you it isn't worth it.

But hey, after that you would tell me you miss your bed. You miss your bear. You miss your room. You miss your parents. You especially miss your mum's cooking! Going out to live on your own is nice and all but having to take care of your own meals, wash your own laundry and practically doing everything on your own. At home, even if you wash your own clothes, at least you have everything there. If you just fancy some snacks, you can just whip out a quick meal from the ingredients in your mum's fridge. You don't have to worry about the bills too!

I know that there will come a time when we eventually have to live on our own. But for me, I'd like to stay at home as long as possible until I have no choice but to leave. Well, if you think I want to live at home because I cannot live on my own then you are wrong! I can survive given the situation. But, home is where the heart is. =]

Peace out!

The 3 Rs

2010-08-04T16:06:00.002+08:00

No I am not talking about reduce, reuse and recycle! It has nothing to do with that at all. In fact, it was my speech on regeneration and renewal about a year ago. Looking back, I believe that if I were to write the speech now, it'd be better I guess? Anyway, I think the theory I came up with is quite worth sharing. Who knows... Maybe it might help someone. =]

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What comes to your mind when I say regeneration and renewal? I bet some of you may think of evolution, reproduction and even cloning! However, that is not the sort of regeneration and renewal that I am going to talk about. What I would like to share with you is a different manner of human regeneration and renewal. So how do humans regenerate and renew?

I am delighted to share with you my answer to this question. As human beings we constantly regenerate and renew ourselves in many ways and we strive hard, yes very hard, to become better people through regeneration and renewal. We realise, we adapt and we reconcile. That is why we change through the course of our lives.

Ladies and gentlemen,

When we regenerate and renew, we change. But for us to change, we must first come to a point of realisation. We should start by looking at ourselves. What is it that we should improve? Our attitude? Our manners? Or even our personality? There are many things that we may need to change or we can change. These are just a few examples. It is essential to look around us and beyond ourselves. The situation we are in. The environment around us. The horizon ahead of us. We should question what it is that we want to improve on. When we can question ourselves, this implies we have come to a realisation. Once we have realised what needs improving, we are enroute to change.

Next comes adaptation. When we change, we adapt. In a world that is ever changing, we must constantly adapt and change with the world. How do we adapt? Well, there are ways. We adapt to a situation or we adapt through experience. By having realised the situation that we are in, we change and adapt to it. When we are able to adapt, we are able to improve ourselves. For example, when a graduate enters the working world, he or she must adapt. This person must change and adapt to the fast pace and cruel reality of the “dog eat dog” world in order to survive it. Through situations like this we gain experience. Through the experiences gained, we adapt again. By assessing what we have gone through before and realising our strengths and weaknesses, we can then change ourselves. Past experiences help us to realize our strengths and weaknesses. This allows us to be able to overcome our shortcomings and to change or improve ourselves.

Once we have gone beyond realization and adaptation, there must be reconciliation. You must be wondering what I mean by that. How do we do that? Well, we need to come to terms with ourselves. Ask yourselves these: Do I like who I am? Do I like the way I am now? What about the life that I live? What I really mean by reconciliation with ourselves here is that we accept ourselves for who we are. When we are able to do that, it would mean that we have come to terms with ourselves. And that in turn means that we have reconciled with ourselves.

Ladies and gentlemen,

It is said that “to err is human”. I believe that is true and that is why we try our best to become better people. Before I end, I would love to urge everyone to take a look at yourself, take a look around you. And if you feel you must bring a change, realize, adapt and reconcile. Thank you.

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I hope this was helpful in some way. Have a great day. =D

Egoism.

2010-07-31T00:19:00.007+08:00

Who in the world thinks that only a guy has an ego the size of the Himalayas? Trust me when I say girls may have egos that size as well!

I'm no expert on ego. But here is what I think. =]

Well, ego. Lets start with what that is. Us, humans, are often in the illusion of being a special individual different from the rest of God's creations. Be it animals or even...other humans. Ego makes someone believe that we must fight for ourselves to survive in the world. We are most important to ourselves. Nothing else comes before that. I believe that most of the time, we are unaware of our own human nature. It drives us to do things that will assure it's own future. Simply put, it makes us think that we are preserving our dignity and image.

"A lot of people have this ego need that makes them want to believe that Earth is the center of the universe and humans are the most important species, the supreme expression of creation."
-Ann Druyan-

This is where Egotism comes in. Egotism is the motivation to maintain and enhance favourable views on oneself. Egotism means placing oneself at the centre of one'd world with no direct concern for others, including those loved or considered close. In short, a self-centred person.

"Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls,

your ego goes with it."

-Colin Powell-

Now, what I believe is that girls can be as egoistic as well! It may be different from guys. Ultimately it is about taking great care of one's self-image, self-esteem and dignity. A guy's ego will be hurt if you call him a coward. Don't they usually want to be known as brave? Well, which guy doesn't want to? It is not just about being brave to jump in front of a bullet or climbing the tallest building or fighting someone else. Brave at anything really. For example, are you brave enough to go an speak on stage? A girl's ego may be different. How about not making the wrong decisions? Pushing the decision making to someone else so that if a mistake is made, it is not your fault. Never wanting to lose a fight. Well, that's definitely ego! Oh and what about not wanting people to realise you had a bad hair day? Or that you need make up to hide that you cried? Well, that's ego for you!

"The excitement that you were feeling about a special, unique path for yourself as a woman is all part of your identification with and attachment to being female. And that's ultimately all ego."
-Andrew Cohen-

So, still think a girl's ego cannot match up to a guy's? Think again!

P/S: I think 'kiasu' people are quite egoistic. =]

Absurdity

2010-07-16T23:58:00.000+08:00

The problem with ambiguous posts, whether in blogs or Facebook or Twitter or Plurk, is that you don't know who it is meant for. But the beauty is that it can mean anyone in general. I have no idea why some people become so sensitive about every little thing other people write about. It may be coincidentally related but it might not just be you. Plus, you are not even able to make sure it is about you until you ask!

So why be so angry and about something and insult that person with profanities before confirming that it is about you? Oh, better yet, why not tell the person directly instead of doing it ambiguously as well? If you are thinking that I am a coward for not directing it at you, then look at your own doing. Not brave enough to face me and ask me what I mean by it? So who's the coward now? Oh well, I think the real coward is you. Want to know why? Because you are so afraid that what people say is about you, you jump like a monkey stepped on its tail and run off screeching to climb up high in a tree where you hide and cower amongst the leaves.

I just do not get the way people think. You can complain about not having anyone trustworthy enough as a friend. Then hurt others who actually meant nothing by anything. Then complain about being lonely. I just do not get anyone who thinks that way.

And...if you think in this post I mean YOU (yes, you, the person reading this right now), then by all means go ahead and think whatever you want. I won't mind. Just don't be absurd about it. Don't overreact.

Have a great day. :D

Do not forget.

2010-04-29T20:13:00.002+08:00

Life is precious. Life is a gift. Life is what your Mother gave you.

She carried you for nine months. Enduring the weight. The pain. To bring you into this world, she cried her heart out. Fighting. To give you life. Despite all that suffering, the moment she heard your cry, she could not help it. Smile. A smile so huge spread across her face. As tears, not of pain, but of joy rolled down her cheeks. It was a joy like when the first day of spring crept from behind the trees. The sun shining brightly. Brightly coloured flowers of such a sweet honey scent.

As you were a baby, you could not do many things. You needed caring. You Mother gave that to you. She gave you a home. A family. A life. Most of all, she gave you Love.

As you grew up, you needed guidance. She taught you many things. You also needed a little more freedom. She gave you more time to yourself. You needed food. She put them on the table for you. You needed a ride. She took you where you wanted to go. You needed love. She loved you.

Now, you are all grown up. Even though she has loved you so much, you do not see it any more. You call her a nuisance. A burden. Is it hard? To love her back? For all she has done for you. Even now, you refuse to. Throwing her amongst yourselves like a beach ball. Why? Is it because you wish that she does not leave this place in your home?

So what if she does? You'll mourn. Come crying. Apologising. Begging for forgiveness for your neglect. Your mistakes. Your sins. Because you hated her, when it mattered most. But it is too late by then. Just too late.

When you were young, she cared for you. When she is old, you need to care for her. It is the way of life. She is not a burden, she is your Mother. She is your life-giver.

Remember that.

Is that right?

2010-04-24T22:51:00.001+08:00

People often walk along a very mundane and ordinary road in their lives. Pondering over their existence and wonder what their future holds for them. Some just go along with what life brings. Some just go with their daily routines. Some pray to God for guidance. Some look around for extraordinary things and might just find that special something. Those that make an effort to search will eventually find it. Or in some very rare cases, anyone might just stumble upon such miracles.

You might have asked yourself before, why are this people so successful or famous or well-known or have a good life? Well, that is because they must have worked for it. Real hard. We can not just do a little something and hope for everything in return. That would not work now would it?

I have seen people who give a little and want back too much. It is like asking for something others cannot give. It is not impossible at all. But no one should lie in return just so that no one gets hurt or feel sad. One should also not take for granted that the result would turn out well favouring him or her. Expectant, I would say, is not a good trait in certain circumstances. Expect and be disappointed? Not necessarily. But expect too much and that might just cost you a downfall.

I cannot lie. I cannot give you what I cannot return.

Fade

2010-03-26T23:12:00.004+08:00

Coldness in the air

With only skin too bare

As a veil of wryness

Sets a stage for the righteous

If one could set it right

The world would turn bright

On a journey one must embark

Before it returns to the dark

Fall gently like snow

As this faint light glow

Over a mind longing for peace

That wishes for this to cease

Troubles in an endless field

If only this fool would yield

For even if one survives birth

Eventually we return to earth

~Sabine Ong~

To Learn

2010-01-27T12:54:00.003+08:00

Learning is never easy. No matter what you learn. It may be just learning to read. It was not easy when you first start of course. Writing. Photography. Drawing. Playing musical instruments. Whatever it is, it is not always easy when you start to learn.

So, ever wondered why some people are able to master whatever they were learning?

Well, of course I have wondered. It was never a clear answer. It could be many things.

Opportunity? Sufficient funds? Pure talent?

But what is an opportunity if you do not take it? What is sufficient funds if you do not use it wisely? What is talent if you do not nurture it?

What are all those if you do them without positivism?

I have learned the hard way that if you dissuade yourself, you would never learn as much as you can. You would make yourself think that you are not as good as everyone else. You are lousy. You are useless. You are just not talented.

The conclusion is easy, you are thinking negatively so much that you tell yourself all those. What can you learn if you are that way? Nothing much.

So what if you go ahead with positive thinking? You wouldn’t give up so easily, right? You’d just try harder and harder.

Its like climbing a mountain. Tell yourself you cannot, you’d get tired faster and give up halfway. if you tell yourself you can, it would be much easier. Make it a goal to reach the highest point. That may be what will drive you to achieve it. The highest target.

The key is to try and try again.

Keep trying hard eh?

Gambateh! Whatever you are learning. =]

5 centimetres per second.

2009-09-22T00:30:00.005+08:00

_
"The speed at which cherry blossom petals fall
Petals being a metaphorical representation of humans
Reminiscent of the slowness of life and...
How people often start together...
But slowly drift into their separate ways."

A friend passed me this short anime film and now I am hooked to the song. Been trying to learn the song on guitar. Got part of it so far. I hope I can finish the song soon. XD

Well basically the movie is a bout a boy and a girl who liked each other during their school years. But as life goes on, they become further apart. Both in physical distance and relation. The girl eventually moves on. But the guy does not. Sad really.....

We cannot deny that people do grow apart sooner or later. The best one you can see is you and your parents. One day, you are going to go out and live on your own. Eventually becoming independent. And as we do so, we leave behind not just our family but friends as well. We go separate ways and meet new people. Well, of course we do stay in touch. But we don't see them as often as we would like. Or even talk/chat online/sms/call.

If only we had done some of the things we wanted to.
Said half the things we wanted to tell.
And forgive what we could not back then.

In the end, we ask ourselves...

What if we had one more chance?

hear me and listen well

2008-10-08T00:11:00.008+08:00

...

You can hear me

the voice that speaks

loud and crystal clear

like I am right next to you

I know that very well

But are you listening

to what I am saying?

You must understand

It is important for me

My Heart aches

with each passing day

It pains me

that you still have not

You must

Please do

before it is too late

before the darkness takes over

So don't just hear me

.Listen.