Sunday, May 08, 2011

Forgive and forget

To truly forgive, we must be ready to forget. I don't mean to forget completely whatever was done to you. But let us look at it in a deeper manner today...

Harbouring feelings of not wanting to give forgiveness has an emotional and physiological affect on ourselves. Blood pressure surges... Heart rate increases... Your brow muscles tense... And you will have much negative feelings. To cultivate forgiveness may reduce all this. You are likely to enjoy a more positive-self emotionally. You'll reduce the bitterness and resentment that comes with the failure to forgive.

Of course, forgiveness, like love, cannot be forced. It comes with our own attitude towards everything in life. When we have better stress management, we are more likely to forgive. Also, having the feelings of gratitude for the better things we have in life would put our focus on the positive things that have happened, rather than being victims of grievance.

It is almost impossible to forget what has caused you pain or hurt your feelings. To forgive and forget, does not mean literally erasing that memory forever. To forgive and forget is to remember graciously. We remember what happened, the pain it caused and what the truth was. But we do so without the feelings of contempt, anger and hatred for the person or people we have forgiven.

We can choose to let go of the angry thoughts about the person or people that has wronged us. That is deciding to forgive but we may still harbour negative feelings. To truly forgive and forget, is to replace any negative emotions with positive ones; when anger, hate and resentment are replaced with love, compassion and empathy.

That, in my belief, is the true meaning of forgive and forget.